Praying for Marriages (PfM)

This week we are taking a slight turn for the holidays.   Of course we want you to pray for marriages this coming week, but we would like you to pray particularly for the marriages of those people you were with during Christmas or and will be with as 2012 draws to a close.   In many cases those will be the marriages of family and friends, marriages into which you have more intimate insight and for which you can pray with more specificity than normal.  On the other hand, you may have had or will yet still have occasion to spend time with new acquaintances whose marriages you know little about.  Regardless, all these marriages will benefit from your intercession.  So even in this busy season, take time to lift up these marriages to our Lord who is actively about the work of renewing all things. We hope you have had a blessed Christmas and that you will experience the full goodness of God as you seek to live obediently before Him in 2013.

We are asking this week that you pray for marriages dealing with the issue of pornography.  Most frequently husbands have a more difficult time with pornography addiction than wives.  They often see it as a personal issue that does not affect their marriage partner.  But this attitude is far from the truth.  Pornography easily creates unrealistic expectations no wife can meet.  The husband will come to the marriage bed looking to re-experience something he has seen, giving little thought to the needs and desires of his spouse.  Sex can become a cold, performance-driven encounter instead of the warm, intimate relational union it should be.  One too-frequent result of this impersonal sex is infidelity. If the wife becomes aware of her husband’s addiction, it can create in her a feeling of inferiority and of being just another of his sexual playthings.  She can feel she is no longer the one, unique and special person in his life ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that must deal with chronic pain.  Couples in these marriages can struggle sometimes because they incorrectly identify the suffering spouse as the problem instead of situation that is causing the constant pain.   Financial pressures can often assail these marriages as couples seek any and all possible solutions to the debilitating situation.  Just the day-to-day grind of managing pain is physically and emotionally exhausting.  And finally, chronic pain can steal a couple’s hope, and, where hope is absent, depression can rush in to take its place.  Please pray with us that these couples will have faithful prayer warriors to lift them up consistently                rightly identify the situation as the burden, not the suffering spouse not be crushed by financial pressures not lose hope but rejoice in the hope they have in Christ Jesus receive t...

Join with us this week in praying for marriages in which law enforcement is the career of one or both partners.   Marriages in this life situation can face a number of difficult problems.  The spouse in law enforcement is prone to deal frequently with the darkest side of life and, consequently, can become quite jaded, finding it difficult to count on or fully believe in anyone.  This attitude can easily transfer to the marriage relationship, making intimacy and trust a struggle.  The spouse not in law enforcement often experiences the stress of knowing the other may face a life-threatening situation at any time.  These couples also live under the cloud of a profession's reputation as one that suffers extremely high rates of alcoholism, divorce and suicide. This week pray for the safety of those in the law enforcement profession that the Lord will grant these protectors of the peace the ability to see the good in life and ...

Please pray this week for married couples with a special-needs child.  These couples are often strained by a lack of physical and mental rest. Many times finances are stretched as couples seek to finance services and therapies for their child. They can often face hurtful acts of discrimination and exclusion.  These couples can also become anxious and even depressed as they look into the future of their child who may never reach a level of independent living, wondering who will provide for their child’s care once they are unable to.   Those couples whose first child is a special-needs child may agonize over the decision to have other children. Pray that God would  grant these couples an extra measure of rest and strength great patience in the face of trying circumstances the resources they need to provide for their child oneness in their decision making peace that protects them from an unknown future ready support from the community of faith  ...

This week we are calling you to give thanks throughout the week for marriages that have played or are still playing an important role in your life.  That special set of marriages will be unique for each of us, so we may not suggest some that are important to you.  Nevertheless, here are some to consider just for starters.  Give thanks for the marriage of your parents, the marriage that most often sets the example for our own marriages.  Give thanks for the marriages of your grandparents, those marriages that have remained strong and vibrant for decades.  Give thanks for the marriages of friends, for those who have walked along side you and encouraged you through good and bad times.  Give thanks for the marriages for your spiritual mentors, your pastors, Bible study teachers, youth leaders, all those who have exampled for you how to be a couple faithful to the call of Christ.  And don't forget to give thanks for your own marriage and for the one who ...

Pray this week for couples dealing with significant issues with in-laws.   Parents can fail to release their married child emotionally and demand time and allegiance that rightly belongs to the spouse.  Sometimes in-laws step into situations too soon, not allowing their children to work out issues in their own way.  This can cause the couple to feel inadequate or resentful.   On the other hand a couple can damage their relationship with their in-laws by demanding unquestioned independent, except when they need a free babysitter or a little extra cash.  In the effort to shape their own marriage, they can also thoughtlessly disregard or run roughshod over the traditions and beliefs of their parents, creating tension, frustration and deep disappointment. This week pray that married couples and their in-laws will Respect the marriage relationship Refrain from providing unsolicited advice but be willing to provide wise counsel when a...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that have grown emotionally cold.  Emotional coldness in a marriage can be as destructive as rage and is more insidious.  Rage is like a fire that ignites and is immediately recognized as damaging.  Emotional coldness, or emotional distance, as some would call it, is like freezing weather, uncomfortable for sure but too often not identified as damaging until frozen pipes start to break. The growth of emotional coldness in a marriage can have its origin in any number of situations.  Excessive attention to children to the determent of a spouse can cause a marriage relationship to cool.  The same can be said of excessive attention to work, to a hobby or, yes, even to a ministry.  Discounting the need to give and ask for forgiveness when a hurt has been caused to a spouse can be the seed-bed of emotional coldness. Being unaware of how a spouse expresses his/her emotions can cause one to miss cues that would ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with the tragedy of breast cancer.   Although cancer of any kind can create stressful situations for marriages, breast cancer does so uniquely.   It strikes the wife at the heart of her self-image and worth.   Many sufferers experience an emotional roller coaster that can cause their spouse to receive conflicting signals.   One moment a wife may long to be held and touched yet at another moment, or maybe even at the same moment, withdraw from physical contact.   The husband, on the other hand, who does not understand this dynamic, can become confused when his touch is rebuffed or his reserve is interpreted as uncaring. Like with other cancers, the physical battle of fighting breast cancer is draining and demanding, on the patient particularly but also on the spouse.   Almost without fail, the physical stresses of enduring radical treatments and of caring for the patient create emotional...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that have suffered the excruciating pain of the death of a newborn baby.   In past weeks we have called on you to pray for those who have had a child to die as well as for those who have suffered the painful disappointment of a miscarriage.   Many of the issues experienced by couples that have faced those tragedies are also common to those who have lost a newborn infant. The circumstances of this particular tragedy can be quite varied.   In some cases the death has been long expected and to some degree prepared for because of prenatal testing.   In other cases the death is totally unexpected but comes quickly after birth.   And yet in still other situations the newborn’s death, though almost a medical certainty, is delayed for days or even months. One of the hardest things about infant death is the sudden and absolute reversal of emotions.   Joyful expectation is usurped by gut-wrenching sa...

Please join us this week in praying for couples that have been disowned by their children.   The nature and causes of fractured family relationships are varied, complex and rarely one-sided.   The division can be the choice of the parents or the child/children.   Regardless, the division is always painful to someone, if not to everyone. One variety of fractured family relationships is when children disown their parents.   The impetus for this separation can be rooted in bad parenting choices or in the equally bad choices of adult children.   In either case, the painful effects the division has on the disowned couple can be a challenge to the very existence of their own husband/wife relationship. If the estrangement from their children is the result of bad parenting choices, particularly if those choices were those of one parent (for example, an absentee father or an overly protective/smothering   mother), the other spouse may harbor resent...

Join us this week in praying for marriages in which communication has broken down.  By all accounts the lack of effective communication is a frequent and devastating dysfunction in marriages.  The break down in communication can occur for a wide range of reasons.  Communication can grind to a halt if one’s words or body language suggests disinterest in or contempt for a spouse’s input.  Sometimes the desire to communicate can dry up if a spouse feels the other’s words are never followed up with action, in other words, if lightly made promises are never kept.  Nagging can also cause communication cease. When effective communication stops, all sorts of misunderstandings and false assumptions are likely to spring up.  The resulting cascade of trouble and stress will then be difficult to reverse since the very tool needed to effect this change, good communication, is already impaired. Pray with us this week that couples having communication is...

Please join us this week in praying for married couples that are parenting their grandchildren.  In preparing for this blog I came across an article issued by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.  This article, which is reproduced in full below, states the challenges of this life situation exceptionally well.  The article was originally posted in March 2011 at http://aacap.org. "Grandparents are an important resource for both parents and children. They routinely provide child care, financial assistance and emotional support.  Occasionally they are called upon to provide much more including temporary or full time care and responsibility for their grandchildren. An increasing number of children in the United States live in households headed by a grandparent.  This trend is due to: increasing numbers of single parent families the high rate of divorce teenage pregnancies incarcerations of parents substance abuse by parents illnes...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that are in deep financial debt.  Debt is a life-situation pervasive in our American culture.  When this debt is excessive, it can lead to numerous problems for a married couple.  First, it can lead to a blame game in which spouses expend their energy assigning blame for their situation instead of working on a solution.  Second, deep debt can create crippling stress as the couple tries to maintain life and limb while fending off creditors.  Third, debt can lead to hopelessness, since escaping debt is most often a long road many couples see as beyond their ability to travel.  And finally, even when a couple commits to escaping debt, they face the difficulties of changing long established habits, of giving up things precious to them, and of learning to say “no,” or at least “not now,” sometimes even to good and worthwhile things. Please pray that couples in this situation will Be granted gr...

Join us this week in praying for marriages in which the couples are involved in foster care.  Couples who choose to be foster parents are choosing an honorable endeavor, but, like any worthwhile endeavor, foster parenting can bring significant challenges to a marriage.  One of those challenges is the demand on time.  Most foster parenting situations require meetings with counselors, agencies, teachers, birth-parents etc.  These requirements take time and necessarily cut into the time a couple may be accustomed to spending with each other.  Making the most of this decreased couple time is a challenge that requires creativity and commitment. Another challenge is the emotional investment required to parent a child who likely will be experiencing some level of dysfunction because of his/her previous home situation.  Dealing with the child’s biological parents, who likely will not be satisfied with their child being removed from their care, may als...

This week please remember in prayer those married couples who have experienced a job loss.  In addition to the financial pressures a job loss can bring to a marriage, it can also cause the one who has lost the job to question his or her self-worth.  If a new job does not materialize quickly, hope can be lost and, when hope is lost, inertia can set in and eventually lead to deep depression.   If both spouses have been working, the spouse who is still employed will often attempt to make up some of the income loss by working more hours.   This response, though helpful in closing the income gap, can inadvertently create a feeling of guilt in the life of the spouse who has lost the job, while at the same time exhaust the spouse who is taking on the extra work, particularly if the situation continues for an extended time. P ray that these couples who have lost a job will Remember that their standing before their God has not changed; they are still His beloved c...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that are living through the chronic illness of an adult child.   Just tonight we have become aware of a situation in which a couple is dealing with one adult child who has cancer and a second who has a chronic gastro-intestinal disease.   The emotional stress of such a situation is not lessened because the children are adults.   Parents don’t cease to be parents because their children are grown.   For a number of reasons the stress can actually be greater.   Usually adult children and parents live in separate households and often are separated by a geographical distance that makes care-giving difficult and just staying informed a challenge.   The fact that adult children typically have established a level of independence can cause parents to question what care is expected or what care would be accepted. If the child-parent relationship is good, the parents’ marriage can be challenged as they take on ca...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which couples have offset work schedules.  In a very large number of marriages today, both spouses work.  This situation has its own challenges, but, when the spouses’ work schedules off-set, that is, one works days and the other works evenings or midnights, the challenges become even greater.  Just carving out time to see each other can be difficult.  Sleep schedules can create conflict, and intimacy can be curtailed because both spouses are not rested at the same time. The social life of the couple can be affected.  Events both would enjoy attending are often scheduled at times which will keep one or the other away.  When the events are for couples, even the spouse who could attend will often opt out because he/she doesn’t want to feel like a fifth wheel.  The snowballing of this situation can cause the couple to become isolated from others who could contribute an added level of joy to their ...

Join us this week in praying for marriages experiencing the “empty nest.”  Couples who have children know that one day their children will leave the nest and establish families and homes of their own.  Even so, the change sometimes takes couples by surprise and leaves a hole they are not ready to deal with.  This situation can be particular difficult if the couple has not maintained a balance between their role as parents and their role as husband and wife.  All of a sudden it is just the two of them. Sometimes there is a period of re-acquaintance as couples orient their time and attention toward each other.  Some couples can experience a real sense of loss, particularly if the empty nest comes quickly or unexpectedly and the separation from children involves great distance or time.  Also, couples are faced with making wise decisions about the use of time and resources no longer consumed by their child...

Please join us this week as we pray for couples who are the primary caregivers for an aging parent.  This life-situation can turn life on its head as roles are reversed and the children become the parents and the parent the child.  At best this situation can be awkward; at worst is can lead to serious conflicts.  A parent, who has had a lifetime of making decisions, now has children making decisions for him/her.  These can be small decisions (“Dad you should not climb that ladder”), to life-style-altering decisions (“Mom, you can’t drive anymore). Caring for an aging parent can also limit the freedom of the couple.  It can mean giving up travel plans, changing long-established schedules and learning that the old “spur-of-the-moment” event now requires planning.  All the decisions that come with caring for an aging parent can also put the couple at odds with siblings who have different ideas about what is best. Additionally, if the parent’s...

Please join us this week in praying for newly married couples.  Though the issues faced by newly married couples are common and often joked about, they can really be troublesome and cause a marriage not to get off to the best start.  The adjustments of living with another human being everyday can be a strain.   Although these adjustments can be tough for young persons who haven’t yet established routines as independent adults, they can be even more troublesome for individuals who have been independent adults for a number of years prior to the marriage and have habits and life-styles with which they have become comfortable.  Another issue for young marriages is the personal baggage the newly weds bring with them.  Often not all this baggage gets opened during the dating and engagement period, so surprises, and not always pleasant surprises, are frequent.  A spouse’s reactions to these unknown tidbits can lead to disappointment and disagreement....