Week 72: Marriages that have Settled

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that have settled.  First let me explain what I mean by “settled” for I admit “settled” can be both a positive and a negative term.  Positively it can mean “settled in” as a NASCAR driver settles into the fast groove of a race track.  Negatively it can mean “settled for” as a new graduate often must settled for a less-paying job until s/he gains experience.

In this blog I am using the term in the negative sense.  We need to pray for marriages that are settling for less.  You are right in asking, “Settling for less of what?”  Well, less of a lot of things.  Some marriages settle for less physically.  The spouses get lazy or they take each other for granted.  They assume their spouse desires them even though they make no effort to be desirable.  The old flame is a flicker.  These couples don’t need to renew their vows.  They need to renew their wow!

Some marriages settle for less emotionally.  They forget spouses should be each other’s biggest cheerleader.  They also forget a single negative word from a spouse can drown out all the adoration of friends.  The affirmation of a spouse is the fastest way to overflow the other’s emotional bank.  Withholding positive words and actions will bankrupt a marriage.

Other marriages settle for less spiritually.  Spouses fail to hold each other accountable and let each other slide into complacency.  They stop praying for each other and stop asking questions that challenge each other’s comfort zones.  Spiritual growth takes effort.  Spouses need to help each other along, not have to be dragged along.

Pray this week that couples who have settled will

• Realize marriage is a living organism that must continually grow or die
• Take stock of where they are and choose to move forward despite how uncomfortable it may feel at first
• Be honest with each other in communicating where they feel stuck and what they need to get unstuck
• Pray with each other and for each other continually
• Affirm each other, to each other and to others
• Renew their wow now, before they forget how
• Never give up, because our Lord never gives up on them
• Realize when so much damage has been done to their relationship that they need special help to recover and get moving again