Praying for Marriages (PfM)

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which one spouse is passing through an unexplainable dark time that is emotionally and physically debilitating. A large part of the difficulty of this situation is its mysterious genesis.  The fact that the cause is unknown to either spouse can cause both to feel helpless:  the afflicted spouse can feel helpless to explain the problem and the care-giving spouse can feel helpless to provide what is needed to relieve the suffering. Many times the suffering spouse can experience a palpable darkness that separates him/her from God, spouse and friends.  The suffering spouse can also become convinced the darkness will never lift, leading to dejection and a sense of hopelessness.  As this situation lingers, the care-giving spouse can begin to suffer as well, since his/her partner is in no position to meet his/her needs or share in bearing the responsibilities of daily living. Finally, this life...

This week we are calling on you to give thanks throughout the week for marriages that have played or are still playing an important role in your life.  That special set of marriages will be unique for each of us, so we may not suggest some that are important to you; nevertheless, here are some to consider just for starters.  Give thanks for the marriage of your parents, the marriage that most often sets the example for our own marriages.  Give thanks for the marriages of your grandparents, those marriages that have remained strong and vibrant for decades.  Give thanks for the marriages of friends, for those who have walked along side you and encouraged you through good and bad times.  Give thanks for the marriages of your spiritual mentors, your pastors, Bible study teachers, youth leaders, all those who have exampled for you how to be a couple faithful to the call of Christ.  And don't forget to give thanks for your own marriage and for...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the spouses are dealing with the recent death of one of their parents. Although the death of a parent fits within the “normal” pattern of a person’s life experience, it is still an event that can create stresses in a marriage. These stresses can be accentuated if the death is sudden or untimely. The child of the deceased, though a married adult, may still experience profound loss and even feel cheated that the parent did not live to fulfill long-anticipated role such as being a grandparent to his/her children. As with any grief experienced by a married couple, strife can arise if the individuals express or react to grief differently or have different expectations concerning the impact of a parent’s death. Consequently, these times of loss can cause marital conflict if a spouse does not demonstrate in words and actions the compassion and support the grieving spouse may need or expect. ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the redeeming sacrifice of Jesus is unknown.  The spouses in these marriages have joined in a relationship that demands oneness yet lacks the indwelling Spirit who makes that oneness possible.  They have joined in a relationship that demands the presence of every fruit of the Spirit yet lacks the Spirit who provides that very fruit.  They have joined in a relationship that demands the purest expressions of love yet lacks the personal knowledge of the Christ who, through His sacrifice, has given the highest example of that love. These couples have also joined in a relationship subject to great challenges, difficult struggles and endless attacks of the evil one, yet one that lacks the boundless resources of our God, resources given to equip believing couples to overcome these challenges and struggles and to resist Satan. This week pray that these couples without Christ will R...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with sexual dysfunction.  Whether the sexual dysfunction is the immediate problem of the husband or of the wife, it will ultimately be a problem for both. The causes of sexual dysfunction are numerous.  The genesis of the dysfunction can be physical, emotional or psychological.  It can be rooted in the past or its cause can be very current.  Regardless of the origin, the effects of sexual dysfunction on a marriage can be severe. The inability to “perform” or respond sexually can lead to feelings of inadequacy, failure, humiliation, unattractiveness and frustration.  In order to avoid a painful experience, couples may start to avoid intimacy altogether.  In turn, this avoidance can be devastating to the self-esteem of both husband and wife. It is not unusual for the cause of sexual dysfunction to be misidentified and for blame to be assumed by a spouse or assigned to a spou...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages being negatively affected by a disruptive friend.  Just like spouses bring their families into their marriages, they also bring their friends.  This reality is normal and healthy.  Marriage should not signal the end of pre-existing friendships; nevertheless, there are instances when a friend, either of the husband, the wife or both, does not honor the marriage relationship and becomes an instrument of division instead of a mainstay of support. The nature of a friend’s disruptive behavior can vary widely.  A couple may be faced with a friend who does not respect their time and privacy.   A couple may also need to deal with a friend who does not understand marriage generally affects how his or her married friend must manage money.  Martial stress can arise if one spouse makes unwise spending decisions in order to meet a friend’s expectations (golf every week, trips, shopping sprees)...

Join us in praying this week for couples going through marital separation.  Although separation from a spouse can be necessary because of abusive and/or addictive behavior, marital separation is not a cure-all; in fact, it can lead to issues that make reconciliation even more difficult than living under the same roof. When separation is viewed as just a way to avoid the stresses of marital disharmony, it can lead to a false peace that provides no positive movement toward the resolution of marital problems.  The longer that “hiatus” continues the harder it is for couples to re-enter the difficult process of healing a broken marriage. Separation can deepen feelings of failure and hopelessness and chip away at a couple’s commitment to their relationship as they experience the very real physical withdrawal from one another.  This physical withdrawal, when coupled with the emotional distance almost always present in broken marriages, can mak...

Please join with us this week in praying for marriages in which law enforcement is the career of one or both partners. Marriages in this life situation can face a number of difficult problems.  The spouse in law enforcement may deal frequently with the darkest side of life and, consequently, can become quite jaded, finding it difficult to count on or fully believe in anyone.  This attitude can easily transfer to the marriage relationship, making intimacy and trust a struggle. Communication can also be difficult in these marriages.  The nature of the job can make it challenging for the couple to share in conversation about a day’s work, particularly if one spouse presses for too many details and if the other spouse withholds information thought to be too sordid, unsettling or confidential for casual conversation. The spouse not in law enforcement often experiences the stress of knowing the other may face a life-threaten...

We are asking this week that you pray for marriages dealing with the issue of pornography. Most frequently husbands have a more difficult time with pornography addiction than wives. They often see it as a personal issue that does not affect their marriage partner. But this attitude is far from the truth. Pornography easily creates unrealistic expectations no wife can meet. The husband will come to the marriage bed looking to re-experience something he has seen, giving little thought to the needs and desires of his spouse. Sex can become a cold, performance-driven encounter instead of the warm, intimate relational union it should be. One too-frequent result of this impersonal sex is infidelity. If the wife becomes aware of her husband’s addiction, it can create in her a feeling of inferiority and of being just another of his sexual playthings. She can feel she is no longer the one unique and special person in his l...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that must deal with chronic pain. Couples in these marriages can struggle sometimes because of an identification problem:   they identify the suffering spouse as the problem instead the suffering spouse’s pain .  This misidentification can lead to false blame:  the healthy spouse can blame the suffering spouse for their problems, but maybe more often the suffering spouse can blame himself or herself.  In either case, this false blame can be destructive to the intimate marriage relationship the spouses should enjoy. Financial pressures can often assail these marriages as couples seek any and all possible solutions to the debilitating situation.  It is not unusual for treatment programs or medications to work for a time but need adjustment as time passes. These adjustments cost money.  It is also not unusual for couples dealing with chronic pain to be lured into expensive t...

Please join us this week in praying for couples dealing with significant issues with in-laws. The possible issues with in-laws are varied and numerous.  In-laws can fail to release their married child emotionally and demand time and allegiance that rightly belongs to the spouse.  Sometimes in-laws step into situations too soon, not allowing their children to work out issues in their own way.  This can cause the couple to feel inadequate or resentful. On the other hand, a couple can damage their relationship with their in-laws by demanding unquestioned independent, except when they need a free babysitter or a little extra cash.  In the effort to shape their own marriage, they can also thoughtlessly disregard or run roughshod over the traditions and beliefs of their parents, creating tension, frustration and deep disappointment. This week pray that married couples and their in-laws will ·     ...

Please pray this week for married couples with a special-needs child. These couples are often strained by a lack of physical and mental rest since caring for a special-needs child, regardless of his/her age, is often like caring for an infant or young child. Many times these couples find their finances stretched as they seek to pay for services and therapies for their child. Additionally, these couples can face hurtful acts of discrimination and exclusion, often unintentional, but still painful to bear. These couples can also become anxious and even depressed as they look into the future of their child who may never reach a level of independent living, wondering who will provide for their child’s care once they are unable to do so. Finally, those couples whose first child is a special-needs child may agonize over the decision to have other children. Pray that God would grant these couples an extra measure of rest and strength great patie...

This week please remember in prayer those married couples who are living through the loss of a job. In addition to the financial pressures a job loss can bring to a marriage, it can also cause the one who has lost the job to question his or her self-worth.  If a new job does not materialize quickly, hope can be lost and, when hope is lost, inertia can set in and eventually lead to deep depression. If both spouses have been working, the spouse who is still employed will often attempt to make up some of the income loss by working more hours.  This response, though helpful in closing the income gap, can inadvertently create a feeling of guilt in the life of the spouse who has lost the job, while at the same time exhaust the spouse who is taking on the extra work, particularly if the situation continues for an extended time. Inertia, depression, guilt and exhaustion are all negative effects of job loss, each of which can cause marriages ...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which couples have conflicting work schedules.  In a very large number of marriages today, both spouses work.  This situation has its own challenges, but, when the spouses’ work schedules conflict, that is, one works days and the other works evenings or midnights, the challenges become even greater or at least different. When spouses have conflicting work schedules, just carving out time to see each other can be difficult.  Sleep schedules can create conflict, and intimacy can be curtailed because both spouses are not rested at the same time. The social life of the couple can be affected.  Events both would enjoy attending are often scheduled at times which will keep one or the other away.  When the events are for couples, even the spouse who could attend will often opt out because he/she doesn’t want to feel like a fifth wheel.  The snowballing of this situation can ca...

Join us this week in praying for marriages in which communication has broken down.  By all accounts the lack of effective communication is a frequent and devastating dysfunction in marriages. The break down in communication can occur for a wide range of reasons.  Communication can grind to a halt if one’s words or body language suggests disinterest in or contempt for a spouse’s input.  Sometimes the desire to communicate can dry up if a spouse feels the other’s words are never followed by corresponding action, in other words, if lightly made promises are never kept.  Nagging can also cause communication to cease. When effective communication stops, all sorts of misunderstandings and false assumptions are likely to spring up.  The resulting cascade of trouble and stress will then be difficult to reverse since the very tool needed to effect this change, good communication, is already impaired. Pray with us this week that...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in deep financial debt.  Debt is a life-situation pervasive in our American culture.  When this debt is excessive, it can lead to numerous problems for a married couple. First, deep debt can lead to a blame game in which spouses expend their energy assigning blame for their situation instead of working on a solution.  Second, excessive debt can create crippling stress as the couple tries to maintain life and limb while fending off creditors.  Third, debt can lead to hopelessness, since escaping debt is most often a long road many couples see as beyond their ability to travel.  And finally, even when a couple commits to escaping debt, they face the difficulties of changing long established habits, of giving up things precious to them, and of learning to say “no,” or at least “not now,” sometimes even to good and worthwhile endeavors. Please pray couples in this situation will ...

Please join us this week in praying for newly married couples.  Though the issues faced by newly married couples are common and often joked about, they can be troublesome and cause a marriage to get off to a rocky start.  Every new marriage is a blending of two different people, and their differences require adjustments, understanding, open communication and forgiveness. The adjustments of living everyday with another human being can be a strain.  These adjustments are tough for young persons who haven’t yet established routines as independent adults; they can be even more troublesome for individuals who have been independent adults for a number of years prior to the marriage and have habits and life-styles with which they have become comfortable.  In either case, adjustments both large and small are a challenge for newly weds. Another issue for young marriages is the personal baggage the newly weds bring with them.  Often no...