Praying for Marriages (PfM)

This week we are taking a slight turn for the holidays. Of course we want you to pray for marriages this coming week, but we would like you to pray particularly for the marriages of those people you will be with during Christmas and/or as 2017 draws to a close. In many cases those will be the marriages of family and friends, marriages into which you have more intimate insight and for which you can pray with more specificity than normal. On the other hand, you may have had or will yet still have occasion to spend time with new acquaintances about whose marriages you know little. Regardless, all these marriages will benefit from your intercession. So, even in this busy season, take time to lift up these marriages to our Lord who is actively about the work of renewing all things. We hope you have a blessed Christmas and you experience the full goodness of God as you seek to live obediently before Him in 2018.

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which one of two non-believing spouses has become a believer in our Lord Jesus Christ. The difficulties a marriage can experience when entered into by a believer and a non-believer are many. All of those difficulties and more can be present in the marriage of non-believers when one comes to faith in Jesus Christ and the other does not. The new believer can find being faithful to Christ difficult because the very one s/he is joined to in marriage is at the least not equipped to be supportive and at the most possibly hostile. The non-believing spouse, even without intention, can tempt the new believer into situations that would violate his/her new relationship with Christ. These situations can strike at the heart of companionship and cause the couple to doubt the suitability of their relationship. Non-believing friends of the unequally-yoked couple can drive a wedge between the two by si...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that have settled. First let me explain what I mean by “settled” for I admit “settled” can be both a positive and a negative term. Positively it can mean “settled in” as in “settled in for a long winter’s nap”. Negatively it can mean “settled for” as a new college graduate “settled for” a lower-paying job until s/he gains experience. In this blog I am using the term in the negative sense. We need to pray for marriages that have “settled for” less. You are right in asking, “Settled for less of what?” Well, less of a lot of things. Some marriages have settled for less physically. The spouses have gotten lazy or take each other for granted. They have assumed their spouse desires them even though they make no effort to be desirable. The old flame is a flicker. These couples don’t need to renew their vows. They need to renew their wows! Some marria...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with the issue of jealousy. Jealousy can arise in a marriage in a number of ways. The cause can be internal to the marriage, as when a spouse shows excessive or inappropriate attention to a person other than his/her spouse. In fact, jealousy can arise if the same excessive attention is given to something other than a person, such as work or even a hobby. Another cause of jealousy is low self-esteem or extreme possessiveness which causes one spouse to see every relationship the other spouse has as a threat or competition. Jealousy can also arise externally to the marriage when a third party shows inappropriate attention to one's marriage partner even though that partner may be above reproach or even actively shuns the attention. Another form of jealousy that can attack a marriage is that which arises because of differences in life situations. Jealousy can crop up if one spouse has g...

This week we are calling on you to give thanks throughout the week for marriages that have played or are still playing an important role in your life. That special set of marriages will be unique for each of us, so we may not suggest some that are important to you; nevertheless, here are some to consider just for starters. Give thanks for the marriage of your parents, the marriage that most often sets the example for our own marriages. Give thanks for the marriages of your grandparents, those marriages that have remained strong and vibrant for decades. Give thanks for the marriages of friends, for those who have walked along side you and encouraged you through good and bad times. Give thanks for the marriages of your spiritual mentors, your pastors, Bible study teachers, youth leaders, all those who have exampled for you how to be a couple faithful to the call of Christ. And don't forget to give thanks for your own marriage and for the one who shares this unique...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the spouses are dealing with the recent death of one of their parents. Although the death of a parent fits within the “normal” pattern of a person’s life experience, it is still an event that can create stresses in a marriage. These stresses can be accentuated if the death is sudden or untimely. The child of the deceased, though a married adult, may still experience profound loss and even feel cheated that the parent did not live to fulfill long-anticipated roles (for example, being a grandparent to his/her children). As with any grief experienced by a married couple, strife can arise if the individuals express or react to grief differently or have different expectations concerning the impact of a parent’s death. Consequently, these times of loss can cause marital conflict if a spouse does not demonstrate in words and actions the compassion and support the grieving spouse may ne...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which the redeeming sacrifice of Jesus is unknown. The spouses in these marriages have joined in a relation-ship that demands oneness yet they lack the indwelling Spirit who makes that oneness possible. They have joined in a relationship that demands the presence of every fruit of the Spirit yet they lack the Spirit who provides that very fruit. They have joined in a relationship that demands the purest expressions of love yet they lack the personal knowledge of the Christ who, through His sacrifice, has given the highest example of that love. These couples have also joined in a relationship subject to great challenges, difficult struggles and endless attacks of the evil one, yet one that lacks the boundless resources of our God, resources given to equip believing couples to overcome these challenges and struggles and to resist Satan. This week pray that these couples without Christ w...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages dealing with sexual dysfunction. Whether the sexual dysfunction is the immediate problem of the husband or of the wife, it will ultimately be a problem for both.   The causes of sexual dysfunction are numerous. The genesis of the dysfunction can be physical, emotional or psychological. It can be rooted in the past or its cause can be very current. Regardless of the origin, the effects of sexual dysfunction on a marriage can be severe. The inability to “perform” or respond sexually can lead to feelings of inadequacy, failure, humiliation, unattractiveness and frustration. In order to avoid a painful experience, couples may start to avoid intimacy altogether. In turn, this avoidance can be devastating to the self-esteem of both husband and wife. It is not unusual for the cause of sexual dysfunction to be misidentified and for blame to be assumed by a spouse or assigned to a spouse mistakenly. Finally...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages being negatively affected by a disruptive friend. Just like spouses bring their families into their marriages, they also bring their friends. This reality is normal and healthy. Marriage should not signal the end of pre-existing friendships; nevertheless, there are instances when a friend, either of the husband, the wife or both, does not honor the marriage relationship and becomes an instrument of division instead of a mainstay of support. The nature of a friend’s disruptive behavior can vary widely. A couple may be faced with a friend who does not respect their time and privacy. A couple may also need to deal with a friend who does not understand marriage generally affects how his or her married friend must manage money. Martial stress can arise if one spouse makes unwise spending decisions in order to meet a friend’s expectations (golf every week, trips, shopping sprees). Ma...

Join us in praying this week for couples going through marital separation.  Although separation from a spouse can be necessary because of abusive and/or addictive behavior, marital separation is not a cure-all; in fact, it can lead to issues that make reconciliation even more difficult than living under the same roof. When separation is viewed as just a way to avoid the stresses of marital disharmony, it can lead to a false peace that provides no positive movement toward the resolution of marital problems. The longer that “hiatus” continues the harder it is for couples to re-enter the difficult process of healing a broken marriage. Separation can deepen feelings of failure and hopelessness and chip away at a couple’s commitment to their relationship as they experience the very real physical withdrawal from one another. This physical withdrawal, when coupled with the emotional distance almost always present in broken marriages, can make ...

Join us this week in praying for marriages in which communication has broken down. By all accounts the lack of effective communication is a frequent and devastating dysfunction in marriages. The break down in communication can occur for a wide range of reasons.  Communication can grind to a halt if one’s words or body language suggests disinterest in or contempt for a spouse’s input. Sometimes the desire to communicate can dry up if a spouse feels the other’s words are never followed by corresponding action, in other words, if lightly made promises are never kept.  Nagging can also cause communication to cease. When effective communication stops, all sorts of misunderstandings and false assumptions are likely to spring up. The resulting cascade of trouble and stress will then be difficult to reverse since the very tool needed to effect this change, good communication, is already impaired. Pray with us this week that co...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in deep financial debt. Debt is a life-situation pervasive in our American culture. When this debt is excessive, it can lead to numerous problems for a married couple. First, deep debt can lead to a blame game in which spouses expend their energy assigning blame for their situation instead of working on a solution. Second, excessive debt can create crippling stress as the couple tries to maintain life and limb while fending off creditors. Third, debt can lead to hopelessness, since escaping debt is most often a long road many couples see as beyond their ability to travel. And finally, even when a couple commits to escaping debt, they face the difficulties of changing long established habits, of giving up things precious to them and of learning to say “no,” or at least “not now,” even to good and worthwhile endeavors. Please pray couples in this situation will Be granted gra...

Please join us this week in praying for marriages in which couples have conflicting work schedules. In a very large number of marriages today, both spouses work. This situation has its own challenges, but, when the spouses’ work schedules conflict, that is, one works days and the other works evenings or midnights, the challenges become even greater or at least different. When spouses have conflicting work schedules, just carving out time to see each other can be difficult. Sleep schedules can create conflict, and intimacy can be curtailed because both spouses are not rested at the same time. The social life of the couple can be affected. Events both would enjoy attending are often scheduled at times which will keep one or the other away. When the events are for couples, even the spouse who could attend will often opt out because he/she doesn’t want to feel like a fifth wheel. The snowballing of this situation can cause the couple to become isolated from ot...

Please join us this week in praying for newly married couples. Though the issues faced by newly married couples are common and often joked about, they can be troublesome and cause a marriage to get off to a rocky start. Every new marriage is a blending of two different people, and their differences require adjustments, understanding, open communication and forgiveness. The adjustments of living everyday with another human being can be a strain.  These adjustments are tough for young persons who haven’t yet established routines as independent adults; they can be even more troublesome for individuals who have been independent adults for a number of years prior to the marriage and have habits and life-styles with which they have become comfortable. In either case, adjustments both large and small are a challenge for newly weds. Another issue for young marriages is the personal baggage the newly weds bring with them. Often not all...

Please join us this week in praying for couples going through the hospitalization of a spouse. This life situation can create numerous stresses on a marriage. Just dealing with the anxiety of the medical situation itself is trying on a marriage, but there are other stressors as well. When one spouse is in the hospital, daily tasks do not decrease by half; in fact, they increase for the other spouse, and, if children are involved, they increase a lot. Time gets compressed as one spouse tries to be at the hospital to support and comfort the other while still meeting the demands of work, home and family. When one spouse is hospitalized, it is not unusual at all for both spouses to become sleep-deprived. Hospitalization does not equate to quality rest for the patient or for the spouse who is splitting time between a lonely bed at home and a not-so-comfortable chair in a hospital room. The longer the hospital stay, the more weariness is...

Join us this week in praying for marriages experiencing the “empty nest.”  Couples who have children know their children will one day “leave the nest” and establish independent lives of their own.  Even so, and even for those who have given it some serious thought, the departure can take couples by surprise and create a void they do not know how to fill. This situation can be particular difficult if a couple has not maintained a balance between their role as parents and their role as husband and wife.  All of a sudden it is just the two of them and they do not know what to do with each other.  Oddly enough, an awkward period of re-acquaintance may be necessary as spouses re-orient their time and attention toward one another. Some couples can experience a real sense of loss when the last child leaves the house, particularly if the empty nest comes quickly or unexpectedly or if the separation from children involves great dis...

Please join us this week as we pray for couples that are the primary caregivers for an aging parent. This life-situation can turn life on its head as roles are reversed and the children become the parents and the parent the child. At best this situation can be awkward; at worst is can lead to serious conflicts. A parent, who has had a lifetime of making decisions, now has children making decisions for him/her. These can be small decisions (“Dad you should not climb that ladder”) or life-altering decisions (“Mom, you can’t drive anymore"). Caring for an aging parent can limit the freedom of the care-giving couple. It can mean delaying travel plans, changing long-established schedules and learning the old “spur-of-the-moment” event now requires planning. Also, the decisions that come with caring for an aging parent can put the couple at odds with siblings who may have different ideas about what is best for the their parent. Adul...