Week 279: Marriages that have Settled

Please join us this week in praying for marriages that have settled. First let me explain what I mean by “settled” for I admit “settled” can be both a positive and a negative term. Positively it can mean “settled in” as in “settled in for a long winter’s nap”. Negatively it can mean “settled for” as a new college graduate “settled for” a lower-paying job until s/he gains experience.

In this blog I am using the term in the negative sense. We need to pray for marriages that have “settled for” less. You are right in asking, “Settled for less of what?” Well, less of a lot of things. Some marriages have settled for less physically. The spouses have gotten lazy or take each other for granted. They have assumed their spouse desires them even though they make no effort to be desirable. The old flame is a flicker. These couples don’t need to renew their vows. They need to renew their wows!

Some marriages have settled for less emotionally. They have forgotten spouses should be each other’s biggest cheerleader. They also have forgotten a single negative word from a spouse can drown out all the adoration of a multitude of friends. The affirmation of a spouse is the fastest way to overflow the other’s emotional account. Withholding positive words and actions can bankrupt that same account.

Other marriages have settled for less spiritually. Spouses have failed to hold each other accountable and let each other slide into complacency. They have stopped praying for each other and stopped asking questions that challenge each other’s comfort zones. Spiritual growth takes effort. Spouses need to help each other along, not go along alone.

Pray this week that couples who have settled will

• Realize marriage is a living organism that must continually grow or die
• Take stock of where they are and choose to move forward despite how uncomfortable it may feel at first
• Be honest with each other in communicating where they feel stuck and what they need to get unstuck
• Pray with each other and for each other continually
• Affirm each other, to each other and to others
• Renew their wow now, before they forget how
• Never give up, because our Lord never gives up on them 
• Realize when so much damage has been done to their relationship that they need special help to recover and get moving again